A Panicked Silence.

Panicked

For once, the rantings weren’t being launched at me, I wasn’t being told it was my own fault, that I deserved it or that it had served me right. Nothing much was said at all, it was all carried out quietly and hushed and with concerned faces. This made me all the more panicked and I think I would have preferred the all too familiar rages.

It had happened in blur, a few minutes when it seemed I was on the outside watching it all. The shock of it all had rendered me speechless and I had just stood, seeing the ensuing panic whirling around me as though in a dream. The only real reaction I can recall was the nausea and wanting to faint.

Sylvie and Lily spoke in low, hushed whispers and I couldn’t hear what they were saying as I was hustled into the living room to sit on the sofa with my hand raised. They cleaned up the blood in kitchen, checking on me every few minutes. My hand was now throbbing and blood had started to seep through the padding, causing Sylvie to order me to raise my hand higher. She gave me some paracetamol to take, a drink and bought me a dinner, cut up into small pieces so that I could manage it with one hand.

I should have been enjoying the attention, the concern and being waited on, but the shock had left me numb and I just did as I was told, took what I was given, stunned and like some kind of emotionless robot.

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