An ice cold bath.

Pattern

…… I lowered myself down into the rising, freezing cold water. However, my overriding memory is not the icy cold numbness, it is Sylvie’s words that will ring in my ears forever…

..”You adopted little bastard! That’s all the thanks that I get for everything I’ve done for you. It’s no wonder your f*****g mother didn’t want you, that’s why she couldn’t be bothered to feed you, too busy f*****g around with other blokes. Do you think she’d ever have bothered about you? F**k all on your back when you came to us and this is all the thanks we get. Then you go and behave like that. You evil little sod!”

I tried to object and explain but the instant my mouth opened it was swiftly closed with a slap. At this point I started to cry, still dazed and mystified as to what had happened. I was ordered out of the bath and sent to bed, even though it was only mid-afternoon, where I remained without food or drink until the next morning.

The whole episode didn’t last long and Sylvie didn’t leave me in the bath for more than a few minutes, but the whole incident was to set a pattern and was to become the start of my realisation that I really wasn’t thought of in the same way the other children were, something separated me and set me apart.

I now feel that it was from this point that my childhood was lost.

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12 thoughts on “An ice cold bath.

  1. Ho awful to click that “like” button over such horror. But the way you wrote was so moving. I liked the way you wrote. I wanted to slap that adopted mother silly frankly, and warm and cuddle the poor child. I am so sorry for a childhood that includes this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah early to bed with no dinner was my frequent punishment! Anything went wrong then the black sheep was blamed … My parents claimed it was the same punishment for all of us but on reflection as an adult NONE of the others ever got punished!?
    Does sound like you’ve processed it all well.

    Like

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